• Life With The Littleton's

Hey there Mama in the midst of adopting…Do you know what day it is?

{Asking for a friend}

Last night my husband referenced to earlier in the day when I had cried during a conference call while discussing one of our children's educational milestones.

(It was a happy cry – don't worry! I will soon share about this – It’s great news!) but my confused response to him was: “I cried today? . . . Oh yeah I did cry today!” and laughed. He for some reason was so surprised that I forgot. I on the other hand, I wasn’t surprised at all. Mom's who have a blur of children running around seem to get distracted easily. Not to mention the last few weeks being home during this crazy global quarantine has made all the days just roll into one.


I remember during our first adoption process; I was so fully consumed with all the details of the paperwork that I would so easily lose track of time. I'd sit down at my desk or kitchen table and spend hours just doing research, watching adoption videos and compiling information.


The second we were committed to adopting, I became nearly obsessed with it all. The transformation of expanding our family of four to more, was exciting but it also made me a little nervous! I'd look out into the night sky and just be so full of wonder!


Somewhere in the this big wide world, we had a child that God already knew would be placed in our family! He already could see the outcome!

Our Dossier. Every single document required to bring home three children from Ukraine.


There is so much info that an adoption agencies will require from a family who's considering adopting. The logistics are so complex. If you're just starting out, you will have to embrace the in-depth amount of information that you will be asked to put forth to your agency. Just don't be surprised with the vast amount of information they request.


So many families are in the midst of adopting right now. For those being called to adopt this global shut down has caused delays and just more weeks of waiting. Only a few will truly be able to relate to the emotions your feeling.

Mama in the midst of adoption, I really want you to know that you’re on my heart right now! I think how your adoption process is going. I may not know you but I really hope one day, you will run across these words and we will connect and talk all about your adoption!


If you are not yet a mother and waiting to be one through adoption, that anticipation can also be so very difficult. Find peace. God has the whole plan in His hands.

The whole process of adoption is emotional. It’s life consuming both in a wonderful and miraculous way and yet it is also emotionally overwhelming.


All the feels of Adoption Paperwork. Okay, it's more like 75% of the feels.


If you’re sitting down in front of a computer just trying to get just one more document done and your long list of daily tasks is piling up and making you feel edgy, trust me friend, I understand. Maybe you're getting a million (I basically refer to any amounts of anything as a million. A million snacks, a million loads of laundry…) a million interruptions from your kids or phone calls from work, but all you really want to do is just finish this one last document {for crying out loud} so you can finally say; "It’s done and tomorrow I'm taking it to get notarized!".


A child's destiny is literally depending on this piece of paper!

I can promise, you are going to have days where the process will be overwhelming. It is a guarantee that you will have days when you are too shut down to even look at the pile of documents you obsess over and will feel like you've wasted time on the days you didn't work on something.


Days like that, you deserve chocolate and really good coffee. No no…like the real-good kind of chocolate and coffee. The wow-I-splurged-too-much why would I ever pay $4 on a chocolate bar kind of day. Just buy the chocolate. Oh and you will also need a stash of emergency snacks.


My survival go to was Coffee-nut M & M's! I can't even smell them now without feeling a little nausea because I ate countless bags throughout the compiling our dossier. I have decent willpower when it comes to splurges however that's a definite 'no I do not' have willpower during the process of an adoption. Just buy the freaking chocolate! Build up a stash. You will thank yourself later. Promise.

Keeping it real.

You will have days when absolutely nothing gets done around the house. Like nothing! I can honestly contest that no child will die from eating cereal for dinner --- several times a week. Yes, you may have some Mom-guilt about it (don't we all) or maybe you just won’t be in the mood to cook. It’s ok! Honestly, friend it is ok! Your kids will worry far less about the meal quality than you will, and you can now plow through another document and be one step closer to going to bed. (winning)!


You can make up for it later. Just give them a vitamin and an extra glass of orange juice. Just don’t mom-guilt yourself too much during this time, friend.

One thing that you will defiantly need to embrace is Grace! Our adoption process taught me so much more about Grace than I could have ever experienced otherwise.

Our First Adoption. NEVER underestimate who will become a special part of your journey! This lady scanned, faxed, emailed and shipped so many documents. She became a smiling face behind the counter who got to know our process very well. We both actually got a little tearful shipping out that very last piece of paper.


SO MUCH GRACE


  • Grace for yourself on days when you are overwhelmed.

  • Grace on days you’re impatient and need to cry.

  • Grace on days you don't feel like doing paperwork.

  • Grace with your family when they don't have any idea what you're working on.

  • Grace when every ounce of you is needed and you have nothing left to give.

  • Grace towards friends who aren’t walking the same road with you so they can't possibly relate.

  • Grace when you suddenly feel alone because not many can understand the journey.

  • Grace with acquaintances who have negative opinions about adoption.

  • Grace for those who don’t understand why you’re being called to adopt from around the world and not domestically or the other way around.

  • Grace when someone ask you why you don't consider fostering first.

  • Grace for those who aren’t processing your paperwork in the timeframe you want it done.

  • (which happens to be nearly every single solitary document).

  • Grace when someone questions your child referral or their medical need.

  • Grace in the waiting.

Hey there Mama in the midst of adopting, guess what, I understand!


Let that resonate a little because you aren't alone in this journey! Wherever you're sitting or whatever you are feeling right this very moment, you could reach out and someone could say "hey friend, I understand!"

When we completed our first adoption, we really wanted to help families during their process! Especially families who are considering adopting from Ukraine! God put it on our hearts to advocate for waiting children and encourage others to step out on faith! The process has ups and downs; moments of huge celebration when you want to call everyone you know and share the good news. It also has moments where you just feel like no-one will get it so you just keep things to yourself or only share with a few other adoptive families you've met.


We wrote a book about our journey. We love sharing our story! How we went from falling in love and supporting a little girl in Haiti, to considering adopting from Columbia, to finding our hearts in Ukraine where we found our son and daughter.

Miss Raisa (Riah) and Roman. Unrelated. Adopted from two different regions in Ukraine. Same trip.


I promise you will have days you will want to just stop because fear will consume you! Fear that you won’t have enough money. (I’ve met maybe a handful of people who have single handedly adopted without asking for a dime from anyone! That is not the average! I have come across so many families who are never financially comfortable who step so far out on faith and God opens doors. He provides! We have some crazy-faith moments when it comes to our fundraisers!

No family makes money off from adopting! Just ask the thousands of families who adopt!

Can I just encourage you right now to just keep going! Friend, you’ve got this! Just keep taking that next step!

Besides, maybe you will be more patient during a melt-down moment and not opt to fly to Washington DC and risk showing up as a ‘walk-in’ hoping you will get accepted and they will agree to process your documents same day because it will shave off several more weeks of waiting for that one final document needed to submit your dossier weeks sooner.

Spur of the moment trip to Washington DC for that sweet document!


I’m telling you; you've got this! God is going to show so many crazy faith filled moments along the way! He will open doors for you that will be so unexpected that it will leave you speechless.


Take a deep breath.

You got this!

Your child is waiting to meet you!


Sincerely,

Life With The Littleton's


#AdoptionMilestones

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