• Life With The Littleton's

RULES, Consequences & Time Outs

Updated: Mar 14, 2019

Parenting each child individually.




“Oh your kids were so well behaved and polite!" ~ Babysitter (clearly talking about someone else's kids)!


How do we handle discipline and consequences.


With 9 kids, they all are very unique. Like any family we have household rules which are often broken. There are a few rules that I'm a stickler on; always!


No Food In Bedrooms:

First of all, it's just gross and I hate crumbs on the floor and sticky substances on furniture. If you ask any of our kids "Where do we eat?" They will respond; "Kitchen table or counter". Someone please test this out the next time you see our kids. I'm curious what they will say. HA!


No Devices such as phones/ipads/headphones at the table during mealtime.

Yes, they still try.


Please do not bring toys, legos or anything else kid related in Dad & Mom's room.

This is more of a Mom's rule than a Dad's rule. I just really want one space that is my own where at the end of the day I can relax and breathe and not step on a lego at 2 a.m when you get up to use the bathroom! {Ouch}.


No markers or paint anywhere except the kitchen counter.

Ok, this may seem extreme but seriously...we have 9 kids and let's be honest...they can't be trusted with such thing. Case in point: {photo} This happened when I went away for a few days to a Women's Conference in Missouri. I also realize that this antique desk needs painted yet again.




Time Outs and Consequences


This is {very} complex. Overall, our style of parenting models room for self regulation and choices that can be made by our children. Creating rules and boundaries and their decisions can be made within those boundaries.


Example: We do not time them on a device. (30 minutes etc). They need to show balance of their loose privilege. Especially for the teens. They have to engage with family, make efforts for communication and not be locked away for hours on end or they (by now know) they will loose privileges for extensive amounts of time.


This also applies to the little ones but with more guidance. Teaching them balance will far impact their decisions and behavior traits as opposed to a hard rule of time limits. (we hope so anyway).


I won't reference which children I'm referring to but, overview of discipline.


Some of our adopted kids will only respond and listen when correction is done by Trevor. (The Father figure). This makes it tricky especially if he isn't home to deal with 'said situation'. This is where technology is the Bomb! FaceTime and Video Chat! It's a lovely tool in the midst of a meltdown and I need the head of the house hold to step in. If he isn't available for a video chat, he usually addresses situations when he comes home.


Isn't there an old saying: "Wait Til Your Father Get's Home?"


Some of our kids do not handle correction well from Dad even if it's a cross look and Mom needs to step in a draw the line because it's accepted better.


That Time They All Got In Trouble


Timeouts.

Applied and used often and frequently for our younger kids. They get a timeout and then we revisit why they were in time out after they've calmed down and (tried) to process what they did wrong.


Loss of toy or privilege is also used as a consequence.

Because each child responds so differently, some kids could care less then are standing in timeout. {Whatever. Eye-roll}.


The Look.

Literally sometimes that's all it takes.


Heart to Heart. We have special needs kiddos and sometimes they do not respond well to anything so correction is just a conversation of evaluating what was wrong and why we don't do (insert action or words that are being corrected).


Spanking.

{Oh the controversial topic}. Yes, we have and no we don't need to or do it often. If a child is at risk of getting hurt or injured, this may resort in a swat on the booty but again, this doesn't really work with our children for regular discipline so we try not to spank our kids; unless it's absolutely necessary.


Example: Small child with blonde hair and blue eyes (I'm sure you can guess) was climbing on the barstool to try to reach the top cupboard above the fridge because she knew we had hidden treats up there. She was told to get down and not to climb because she could break her head if she fell onto the kitchen tile. She was caught yet again and this time it resulted in a quick swat on the booty. Small child with blonde hair and blue eyes, responded by turning around, slapping her Daddy's leg, pointing her small finger up at him and clearly stated in a very matter-of-fact voice "You can't spank me" and laughed in his face.


*Parenting adopted children who come from trauma and broken pasts requires a multi level approach when it comes to correction and discipline.

We would gladly share more in depth and transparent tactics with adoptive parents.

Please message us privately.


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